03 July 2015

Empowerment vs. Entitlement

Great post by Kim Kiyosaki, put my exact sentiments into words.

Hubby and I do not practice a wife/husband bonus/salary in our household. Family, friends, colleagues who do not understand our non-traditional concept for living, always urge me to get a monthly household allowance from him.

Even a "stranger" (new colleague) insisted I should do this. For someone who married a foreigner, I thought she might have a less traditional opinion. It was only through Kim's article that I realised that western societies also practice the "wife bonus", "wife salary" or household allowance concept.

I shocked many people a couple of days ago with my facebook post supporting the LGBT movement. In the same post, I declared in the online web that I am a feminist.

Of course we have those folks who turn their head in disgust "How could she? She's a Christian! She's married!" My parents and husband did not like that post. Only my brother did.

Family "condemnation" aside, the most important phrase in my FB post is "We should not condemn the differences we do not understand" 

I learnt to keep an open mind to things I do not understand.

With time, I choose to keep an open mind to things I do not understand. Take in the different perspectives, do an internal "analysis", and make my own decisions.

Being able to make decisions on your own is empowering.

The next lesson I learnt was to stop myself from falling into the bottomless pit of entitlement. 

When I board the MRT/subway/train, I tell myself I am not entitled to a seat even though I pay the same transport fare as the adult next to me. If I get a seat, that is a bonus and I am grateful. I am learning to enjoy the small thrills of everyday living. Every moment of small joy counts.

For every lousy day I feel, I tell myself I am not entitled to happiness. Like the dog who sat on nails for the treats he has been getting, I made the choice to sit on the nails. I choose to be unhappy that day.

And when I feel like crap, I usually indulge in sinful gluttony of fried chicken and such. In my last post where I shared that my body is falling apart, I choose to eat healthier lunch during work days, either salad or yong tau foo soup. 

When you realize that you are making small choices in your everyday life to improve your situation, it is empowering.

a quote I saw in LinkedIn