04 June 2017

Legacy. Loss. Staying Afloat.

It's been almost 9 months since my last blog post. In between, I've written draft posts and deleted them before publishing. There were so many thoughts that ran through my mind, on what I want to share on a personal level but instead what I did was to reply to questions by blog readers. I am grateful for this online platform that connects me to the world and helps me to feel useful for sharing my travel experience to fellow readers, many of whom who started out as strangers have now became friends.

In the first half of this year 2017, I was much blessed to travel to the following places:

  • Norway and Finland during Chinese New Year - we were in the Arctic Circle, visited Santa Claus Village, and atop the frozen Barents Sea fjord. We were happy to experience snowfall in Tromso and the awesome Northern Lights while on the Hurtigruten cruise.
  • Bangkok, Thailand during Valentine's Day - which I spent alone since Hubs leave application were denied in the last minute. I ended up working and dragging my laptop and luggage from one hotel to another in the 3 days as Hubs initial plan was to hotel-hop. It was also good to have time alone to myself, I discovered Another Story at Emporium, Phrom Phong BTS station where I splurged on Midori Traveler's Notebook and accessories as a V day for myself. And of course a piece(s) of paper at BeTrend Siam Paragon
  • Tainan, Taichung, Taipei - Taiwan in late February to early March - supposedly to celebrate Hub's birthday.. We bought the Bangkok and Taiwan budget flight tickets while on promo and yup, I had to travel alone again. I finally visited Tainan for the first time after we had to strike it off our itinerary for past 3 trips. Had a great catchup with my excolleague C and her partner.
  • Melbourne, Australia in late March - last minute dragged into a work project... where the trip was hotel - office - supermarket. And of course I had the chance to drink hot chocolate many times for breakfast / lunch / tea / dinner in South Melbourne. Chez Dre serves one of the best hot chocolates, topped with a fluffy marshmallow, even on a takeaway cup.
  • Remained in Singapore in April
  • Gold Coast and Brisbane, Australia in mid May - a short getaway to Gold Coast before returning to Brisbane to celebrate my younger bro Sam's wedding to his longtime sweetheart on 20 May 2017

I made it a point to write again today as 2 words kept coming into my mind - Legacy and Kindness - with my maternal grandmother returning to the Lord last Monday 29 May 2017. I've gave it some thought and decided not to dedicate a blog post to my 婆婆 as I've done so in Facebook and it's time to close the chapter after a week of bereavement.

Whether I like/want it or not, this blog would eventually be part of my legacy. Most of the people who are reading this blog are not family members or personal friends, but fellow travelers who share a like-minded interest to explore and/or were tasked to plan for their trip. If one day it's my time to leave this world, this blog would become part of my legacy left behind, a platform where my personality has shone through, where I was excited in every travel planned. My sharing remains alive. And perhaps a "living memories" platform where not-so-close relatives and friends would learn what Wendy was like

In Ephesians 4:32, the Bible taught us to "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." My dad shared not to seek to understand but to accept. What I do not understand is how we are kind to strangers but often forget to be kind to those around us. I'm not an angelic person. I'm not trying to be the best person in the world. I've a bad temper and my fair share of worldly demons to combat. I'm trying to learn each day to forgive and let go and be kind - even to those whom I disbelieve or dislike so that the disgust/pain/hatred lessen each day. After all when we pass, material things and memories (particularly emotional ones) are what's remaining to those left behind.

This post is not meant to be a morbid post, but a kick-in-the-butt reminder to myself especially when I feel so exhausted these days (physically and mentally) with family, work, etc... I became forgetful and vexed.

What I did to help myself - I've started journaling.

The first bullet journal was started in January 2017 for work so that I stay on track on all the incoming/outgoing employees and the multiple tasks that follow (especially those that require manual triggers).

The other #bujo was started in May 2017 was for personal use, targeting my mental health where I can 'brain-dump' all that I need/intend to do even if I don't wanna feel like working on some matters (e.g. making our house more tidy). This analog system also makes it 'difficult' for me to reschedule certain reminders as compared to those in my Google calendar, thus reminding me to stop procrastinating. In addition, I've learnt a new word 'Anhedonia' which meant loss of interest in enjoyable activities which I've self-diagnosed as can tell by the 9 months of absence from blogging and the X months away from my beading board. I've added a tracker in the month of June to my bujo to get a visual of the times I've been bad vs. good - e.g. overeating vs. high protein diet.

Other than the bullet journals which are productivity tools, I've started documenting my thoughts since February 2017 in my Midori PanAm TN bought during the Bangkok trip. This helps me to re-live those moments and provides me material to blog on later dates.

I hope to share more on my journaling in future blog posts, not on just what notebooks or pens I used but how they have helped me to re-organise my work and personal life

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28